Why does the toilet paper company have to make you waste three or four sheets of the roll getting the glued papers unstuck? And where do they stand on whether it should hang with the paper over or under?

Why is the word FUN in funeral? It doesn’t belong there. The word needs to be changed.

Why oh why when women are in a bad mood do men blame it on PMS? Cant we just be in a mood because we are? Is that so unheard of?

Why do people look at me strange when I Snuggle™ with the towels that are fresh out of the dryer? It feels good…you should try it. But that darn bear keeps drowning in the washing machine…

Why do fat people squeeze themselves into smaller clothes? Don’t they know it emphasizes the cellulite and rolls of fat? And while I am at it, I really don’t need your clothes to be so tight and so see through that I can read your bra size through your shirt.

Why in the Dewey Decimal System libraries do they put books about helping back pain on the bottom shelf?? That’s like putting books about the challenges of being short on the top shelf.

Why do some people expect you to do things their way just because it works for them? I am NOT you – so leave me alone to do it my way. If I mess up, well then, maybe I will call you. (who am I kidding, I won’t mess up….even if it kills me….)

Who the heck do you think you are telling me that I am responsible for the continued exile because my elbow happened to be showing? Because my hair was uncovered for a while? Because I showed some nees? Why don’t you look in your own back yard and be perfect first before you criticize others. It’s so easy to judge people based on mitzvoth that you can actually see. What about what you don’t see? Nice, you dress tzanua but you have the filthiest mouth of anyone I know. Which one of us is better? Not for us to judge, so shut your freaking trap and leave my nees alone.

Why do people say “I know exactly how you feel”? No you don’t. You are not me, therefore you feel differently. Duh!!

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  1. rabbifink says:

    This was without the snark? ;)

  2. hadassahsabo says:

    snark? Moi???? ;)

  3. hadassahsabo says:

    give me back the sun and i will be fine…

  4. Frayda says:

    love the spelling of “nees”

  5. hadassahsabo says:

    Frayda, if i am showing them it can’t be kosher therefore the K has to be removed… no? ;)

  6. harmless says:

    better question – why not?

    why do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?

    why is there Murphy’s law and why does it work all the time?

  7. ladylockandload says:

    Don’t worry everybody, Hadassah is practising for the Barnacle Witchy Witches Gathering, all witches invited, bring your broom and book of evil spells and we’ll have a blast.

  8. Mark says:

    Some brands of TP unroll perfectly from the first sheet! I forget which brand, though. Sorry, I am not so helpful today.

    I’ve never blamed bitchiness on PMS. Sometimes people are just bitchy. Man and women both.

  9. tom says:

    Why do flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

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