Values are Different These Days

Values are Different These Days

I have been asked “what’s with all these FB posts on clothing at school that you are whining about ? Get over it”. It must be a generational thing. I was taught that you should have respect for the educational establishment in which you were studying. That you show up on time, dressed appropriately and behave in a manner befitting a student at your level.

It’s been shocking to me that the youth of today show little of the same values. The more mature students are never the ones that I complain about. They get it.

The amount of skin that I am seeing on campus shocks me. I don’t think any of it has to do with my religious values. Personally, even if I chose to dress the way I wanted to, I would never wear shorts that barely cover my behind, or clothes that really leave absolutely nothing to the imagination. But even if I did, would I dress like that to go to school? It just seems wrong to me.

A guy was sitting in class today, shirtless. Yes, it was nice to look at (hey, I’m married, not dead) but was it appropriate in a class setting? Professor asked him to put a shirt on, and he complied – but I felt it was wrong that he needed to be asked.

Some of my classes are 50 minutes long. Some students walk in a half hour late. At college level, should they not be taking their studies seriously?

I feel like I am turning into such a fuddy duddy.

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  1. Lady Lock N Load says:

    I also would not mind less comments about the dress of your classmates. It is what it is. Additionally, as a mother of a child who is OTD, I know people talked plenty about how my child was dressing and it was very hurtful. Those kids at RCC have mama’s too! :) Much Hatzlocha and blessings in your studies!

    • batya from nj says:

      I agree with LLL & I will add that just like you don’t appreciate when others comment about how you dress, it’s best not to judge others & their modes of dress. Just be happy that they’re not your kids who are dressing this way.

      • sheldan says:

        I agree up to a point. However, when the dress becomes a distraction, that is where it becomes a problem (for both the instructor and other students).

        If they were in their own environment, they can do what they want. But when they are in public, others can and do have opinions on what is appropriate.

        • batya from nj says:

          But Hadassah doesn’t appreciate when ppl. who are more stringent in their dress code make comments to her about her attire.

          Live & let live is my motto.

          • sheldan says:

            With all due respect, we are talking about a man who went to class SHIRTLESS. Regardless of how we feel about letting people do what they want, if the person is creating a distraction, it is not fair to the instructor or other students. At that point, a “dress code” should be enforced.

          • batya from nj says:

            Sheldan, if there is a dress code, then it should be enforced by the school administration.

          • sheldan says:

            But the instructor includes the policies governing his/her class in the syllabus. Yes, the administration does influence the policies in the instructor’s class, but the bottom line is the instructor must set the policy in his/her classroom. If the students do not adhere to the policy as stated in the syllabus, the instructor has the right to take action to preserve the rights of the other students to get their money’s worth in the class.

          • batya from nj says:

            & after re-reading the blog post, I see that it was enforced by the teacher so that is good.

          • batya from nj says:

            Sheldan, as I mentioned in my other comment, the professor DID take action by asking the student to put on his shirt.

        • As a former high school teacher, I saw more bras, thongs and boxer briefs than I ever wanted to see. We had a uniform but if you sit down and I can see your thong, we’ve got a problem.

          • sheldan says:

            You and I must be “old school”–in fact, we’re from the SAME old school. That is truly disgusting. If I’m embarrassed to look at someone, then something’s wrong.

  2. sheldan says:

    When you mentioned the guy in your class that was shirtless, my first thought was “WHISKEY TANGO…”

    Never even thought that this would ever happen, even though the “dress code” has become more casual. What was this guy thinking?

  3. sheldan says:

    Oh, as far as the students coming in 30 minutes late for a 50 minute class…I am sure that the instructor knows what to do about that. Those students will realize very quickly that this will not be tolerated.

  4. Susan Berger says:

    Live and let live is a fine philosophy as far as it goes and I don’t disagree with it. However, it doesn’t mean that anything goes either. The issue then is one of personal boundaries and how to balance that with consideration for others and society. Re: coming late to class: just plain rude.

  5. Mark says:

    Values are ALWAYS different.

    “The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”

    – Socrates (469 – 399 BCE)

  6. Lady Lock N Load says:

    If I were studying at RCC I would just focus on my studies and ignore the attire which is normal over there.
    I wonder if they have any kind of dress code in their student manual. I believe smoking is prohibited on school grounds but probably hard for them to enforce.

    • HaDassah says:

      it’s hard to focus on studying when there is so much distraction in one’s periphery.

      Live and let live is all well and good, but when it stops a person from learning, or concentrating on studies, there’s a problem. Granted, it’s obviously MY problem.

      I am not going over to these ppl and telling them to dress differently. I respect their choices. HOWEVER I don’t have to agree with said choices.

      I am there to learn, and I want to learn all I can. It is very hard when I am being distracted left and right while in the classroom.

      • Mark says:

        It is very hard when I am being distracted left and right

        Life itself is full of distractions; so is the workplace. And since college is training us for life and for the workplace, learning how to handle distraction is also a useful skill.

        • Lady Lock N Load says:

          I was thinking the same thing, how life is full of distractions (for me too) and I just try my best to tune it out and focus.

          • HaDassah says:

            My home life is plenty distracting, thank you very much!! But you are both right. Best to tune it out as best as one can and focus…..

            Oh look, a pretty birdie!!

          • Mark says:

            “My home life is plenty distracting, thank you very much!! ”

            Wait!!! You have half-naked people walking around your home regularly? :-)

          • HaDassah says:

            Mark – not these days, but when the kids were younger…. INDEED

      • I was, during an awkward phase in high school, thrown out of glass for wearing something scandalous. It was THE BOYS, not the girls who complained and said I should be removed from class until I was showing less skin.

        I defriended a lot of my former students when they were in college because they’re Facebook profiles were collages of the type of dress that Hadassah speaks of. I think aside from values, it’s also that many of these kids are making their own choices for once and exploring their sexuality.

        I don’t get the shirtless guy.

    • HaDassah says:

      and as to the smoking – yeah, not enforced from what I can see.

  7. Lady Lock N Load says:

    Don’t worry Hadassah, I am sure you will learn to tune it out and focus. Seems to me you are getting straight A’s and doing just fine already!

  8. Batya says:

    Hadassa, in my day, ok over half a century ago, the required dress code in an ordinary New York public school was more covered up than you see today in even the MO day schools, except that ordinary sleeveless was permitted. We wore skirts, no slacks etc, and in jhs in NYC the boys wore string ties.

  9. My college had a dorm attached to it and many students didn’t even bother to change out of their pajamas for class.

  10. Susan says:

    Here’s an article from Kveller that speaks about the same type of issue.

  11. Lady Lock N Load says:

    Two of my daughters went to RCC. They went to class, took notes, and came home. I never ever heard a peep from them about how the other students were dressed. In fact there are many Bais Yaakov girls and frum women who attend RCC, they go and do their thing and come home. Sometimes when dropping my girls off I would see the neon hair, very revealing clothing, and the smell of marijuana smoke on campus. This was ten years ago. For the most part most of the students there dress okay.
    Could it be you are exaggerating a little Hadassah?

  12. Bethany Mandel says:

    SHIRTLESS?! chutzpah!!!

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