To New Moms, from an Old Mom

To New Moms, from an Old Mom

My son makes aliyah next week and starts his new life. My friend’s oldest daughter is getting married the day after. Some of my friends have recently had their first babies. This post is dedicated to the new moms.

Cherish every moment – for it is gone in the blink of an eye. The last few months of your pregnancy took forever to pass because you were uncomfortable, and you couldn’t wait to meet your child, your future, your life. Time will NEVER be that slow again.

Soon enough that baby will be smiling and holding his/her neck a little straighter, and sleeping a little bit more through the night. Just when you are finally feeling recovered from the birth and adjusting to the needs of this new little person in your life, the baby’s schedule will change, and you’ll need to make more adjustments.

Within mere months that adorable helpless little baby will be sitting up, babbling, crawling, and walking. Within the span of one short year the amount that a baby grows and develops is staggering.

You’ll be discussing nannies or babysitters, potty training and pre-schools, and then grade schools. Bar / bat mitzvahs will be planned, followed by sweet sixteens. At some point through these years your child will discover their own sense of self and start to disengage from Mom and Dad. You won’t be needed as much.

Suddenly that 7 lbs newborn is fully grown and ready to live their own life, on their terms. Overnight, you’ve aged. In a nanosecond you are the parent of a grown-up. And you mourn the fact that you didn’t cherish every single second that you had with your child. You regret the times that you answered in frustration, or said “not now, Mom’s busy”. You wish you had sat on the floor and built endless Lego construction projects with him. You wonder if your guilt would be less if you’d taken an extra ten minutes to listen to your 8 year old spin a tale that made sense only to the storyteller. You wished you’d let the kids stay outside jumping in muddy puddles, just because it felt good to them.

Time doesn’t stand still – it gallops so fast.

Take every moment with your child that you can, and cherish it. Hold those memories close to you and nurture that child. Drink her in. Memorize every feature on that baby face – for tomorrow, his face will look different. Put down the smart phone, walk away from the computer – this is all time with your child that you will never get back.

Sunrise, Sunset. Swiftly fly the years…

[Header pic is my oldest son Aryeh - 13 months, with his newborn brother.]

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  1. Sandra Perlman says:

    Beautiful post. I forwarded it to my 26 year old daughter who is a mom to a 3 year old and a 10 month old.When I watch her with her children I feel this incredible “naches”. MY baby is a mother and a wonderful one at that. I had 5 children in the space of 9 and a half years and I think I was so stressed out part of the time that I missed a lot of glorious moments. I’m not sorry I had them so close in age because later on (like now) it’s wonderful but I do wish I had “seized the moment” more.
    BTW, I love your blog and think it’s wonderful your son is coming “home”.

  2. Shaindy says:

    My oldest is only 4, so I really appreciate this post. Thanks!

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