Sorry Kid, I need to ignore you for a while…NOT!!

You see, apparently I am so obsessed with building my reputation, my “brand” as a mommy blogger that I am neglecting my kids.

An article, entitled “Honey, Don’t Bother Mommy. I’m Too Busy Building My Brand” was published in the NYT recently and it is the most ridiculous load of codswallop I have ever read.

The author lumps us all together, how we are all in it for the money (what money, pray tell?) and the furtherance of our careers, and we are all about the SEO and stuff like that.

Yes I hang out on twitter and facebook for inspiration and friendship, yes I blog, yes I am a mommy, yes I am a writer hoping one day to have a career in that field. Do you know what inspired me to develop my writing talents? There are 4 reasons – my sons. (Well 5 – my husband too). Writing about them preserves the memories forever. Raising them has given me perspective on so many different things. I would not be who I am without them. Not even close.

I hate the term “mommy blogger”. I write about other things than my kids. But that’s really who I am.  My boys are my raison d’être and there is no way on this earth that I would put money or blogging before them or my husband.  My children are the most awesome children in the world, and I choose to share this with the blogosphere. Having a blog has enabled me to enlarge my social circle and learn from other moms and dads. If eventually it makes money – who will benefit? Not just me, the whole family will.

I just didn’t appreciate the tone of the article. The author visited a mommy blogger conference, buddied up with the ladies there, and then shot them down in her article.

“Teaching your baby to read? Please. How to hide vegetables in your children’s food? Oh, that’s so 2008.

The topics on that day’s agenda included search-engine optimization, building a “comment tribe” and how to create an effective media kit. There would be much talk of defining your “brand” and driving up page views.

You know. For your blog.”

The tone at the beginning of the article, some of it quoted above, was dismissive. But those last five words that I quoted just total got my dander up. Pooh poohing mommy blogs. Like we are a waste of space.

My kids are proud of my blog. They ask me daily what I wrote about and how many people came over to comment and chat. It starts many interesting discussions around the dinner table (dinner which I cooked, and shopped for myself, oh the horror). They tell people their mother is a writer and cooks better than anyone. What more could one want??!

I am a Mommy Blogger and I rock!!

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  1. tesyaa says:

    When I had my blog 2 of my daughters were pretty into it. They were also proud of it and they enjoyed reading my perspective on things. (The third daughter mostly dreaded the idea that I might write about her, even anonymously). I also thought I was preserving memories … but then I deleted the whole thing and no one seems to be missing it. If you blog and you like it, go for it. I found blogging was an extra job I didn’t need and when I gave it up I felt much less stressed. It’s a personal thing whether to blog or not.

    • HSaboMilner says:

      Blogging is not a job for me. It helps me keep my sanity. It’s a shame you deleted your blog. But memories live in your heart forever, written down or not.

    • sheldan says:

      Yes, I can imagine how much time it can take. Years ago, I was on CompuServe and posting on the bulletin boards there was addicting; I spent a lot of time putting on my football helmet :-) and going into the game, posting my opinion, defending it from the responders (and some flamers :-( ), engaging with some opinion that was encouraging, frustrating, and anything but boring.

      I get the impression that blogging is to the 21st century what the bulletin boards were to the 1990s. I feel that it is empowering to express my opinion on the bulletin board and on the blogs. (I’m really somewhat quiet, but this helps.) But I really salute the people who can maintain a blog and reveal themselves in this way. Not all of us can do this, but I am glad I can read about new people and hopefully make new friends (like I did on CompuServe).

  2. Mark says:

    Why are they picking on bloggers who are parents anyway? I mean, if anything, pick on the high-powered lawyer that works 14 hours a day outside the house, rather than on the blogger that spends a few hours a day, on a periodic basis, at home!

    • HaSafran says:

      Why would a “journalist” look down their nose at a “blogger”? Maybe because they can see their own irrelevance quickly approaching them, partly due to these same “bloggers”. And it makes them feel superior.
      I sure hope the article writer isn’t a parent; or, at least, has been paying good wages to their immigrant nanny who actually raises their kids for them while they’re writing.

      • HSaboMilner says:

        This woman is a blogger…so there is some self loathing going on here…

      • tikunolam says:

        Those of us moms who work are not all leaving our children home to be raised by nannies. We all work different hrs, have different jobs, different daycare needs and different parenting balances with our partners.

        • tikunolam says:

          Oh, and I have known to blog, so maybe I can’t bake fresh challah. I drop off my kids to school everyday and pick them up everyday and work in between.

          • HSaboMilner says:

            Tik – way back when I had a job I did it all too. Kids, work, cooking, blogging – the whole nine yards. People do assume that moms who blog are SAHMs, many are not. Some are also WAHMs, many work outside the home.

            Thanks for making that point.

          • HaSafran says:

            @TO – I responded to your DM privately, but suffice it to say that I DO know not everyone does this.
            However, there certainly are people in my community who do, and I don’t know if they see the consequences.
            KosherAcademic used to work full-time, as did I – we just worked off-hrs (KA did the M-F 9-5 thing, I did the Sun-Thurs 3PM-1AM shift. We pretty much only saw each other on Shabbat.).

      • sheldan says:

        HaSafran, I think it’s because blogging is relatively new and a threat to the “old-style” media. Obviously they can coexist, but it will be uneasy for a while.

  3. Jess says:

    Whatever you call yourself, whether it’s “mommy blogger” or anything else, you DO rock. I love your blog, and love being part of the dialogue you create, so just keep blogging!

  4. pajamadays says:

    I love it that you don’t like the stigma of “mommy blogger”. I felt the same way, which is why I was hesitant to starg blogging. But now that my girls or in school full-time, I really needed a writing outlet that kept me motivated to actually write! I will definately be adding you to my blogroll. Thanks for the post.

  5. G6 says:

    I read the same NYT article and was also annyoyed by the dismissive tone.
    Mommy Bloggers are just that. Mommies FIRST and bloggers SECOND.
    But the blogging, as any other creative outlet, helps them be better at what they do in all other aspects of their lives.

  6. Tracie says:

    I thought it was interesting that you highlighted how your kids feel about your blog. I have experienced the same thing with my daughter. She thinks it is cool, and she always asks me about it. I don’t like the “mommy blogger” label either, but when people want to go after it I’m going to defend it!

    • HSaboMilner says:

      my thoughts exactly. It’s a wonderful thing to know our children are proud of us, that it isn’t just us that need to be proud of them.

      Welcome to the blog Tracie!

  7. I have to admit, I wonder how you have time to take care of your family, write on your blog and be on twitter as much as you are. Based on your posts, it’s clear that you do take care of your family. If anything, I would say it’s a good thing that you’re able to do all that.

    • HSaboMilner says:

      most of my tweeting and blogging is during the times that they are ALL in school. It would be much more difficult to do it all if they were younger.

  8. Yes, you do rock! Don’t let the opinion of a self important journalist define you or effect what you do. The opinions and experiences of Mom bloggers (or in my case Nanna Blogger since I have a 16 yr old grandson) are no less valid after this piece on “journalistic” trash then they were before.

    Keep on keepin on!!

  9. “Codswallop”? Perfect description!! I used “Rubbish”. Why am I suddenly hearing that old song, “soul sisters” in my head?

    Seriously, nice post – well said. I linked to you in mine.

    • HSaboMilner says:

      Welcome – awesome list of the rebuttal articles…can’t wait to ignore the kids while they sleep so I can read them all :)

    • sheldan says:

      You and Hadassah are so civilized…:-)

      I bet you probably had stronger language in mind…

  10. sheldan says:

    YES, YOU ROCK!!!!!! :-)

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