Poll for Non-Custodial Parents

If you were offered extra time with your kids, would you

a)      Move heaven and earth to make it happen?

b)      Try your hardest with a caveat that sometimes life gets in the way.

c)      Say you have a set schedule that you’d rather not mess with OR

d)     Deny it outright. If you had wanted the kids more you would have fought for custody. Leave things as they are.

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  1. David says:

    That’s simplistic.

    The objective of parenting is NOT to spend more and more time with kids. The objective of parenting is to raise healthy (by any and metrics) kids that play a constructive role in the world.

    [More later -- leaving for home imminently.]

    • Mark says:

      Of course, sometimes the objective of divorce is to make the life of your ex as difficult as possible, or certainly more difficult than it needs to be.

  2. Hmmm..I’ve been divorced for almost 10 years. My ex has made it his mission to do as little as possible. All at his convenience. I tell him that even if he doesn’t want the kids on weekends or overnights (cramps his style with his wife?) that he’s welcome to pick them up anytime for say…and ice cream? Not interested. I’ve tried every way possible to get my ex to want to be involved with his children and it’s just not a priority. I’m with my children 24/7 and enjoy every minute of it. Not sure why he doesn’t but his priorities are just different.

  3. Lady Lock and Load says:

    There are men that do want to spend time with their children and have to fight for that right. The whole thing is so sad, isn’t it? My poor sis has these kind of issues all the time :(

  4. frumgoth says:

    My ex. is the custodial parent of my older two kids and we have joint custody of the youngest. My answer is A. It was their decision to live with their father, and so extremely heartbreaking for me. I would do anything for extra time / more involvement in their lives

  5. Duvii says:

    A. Please tell me there isn’t another answer. Let me talk to him and explain just how good he has it.

  6. Jonathan says:

    Ideally, A.

    Practically speaking, B.

    Sometime life does get in the way. I have 50/50 with my ex, but the reality of our life (she remarried and lives out West, I live and work on the East Coast) means that I see the kids mostly over the summer or on vacations. With the way the economy has been the past year, it’s been more infrequent.

  7. Naftali says:

    The only answer for me would be A. I always said that if I was told that if I flew into the airport at Kalamazoo Michigan, I could have some additional time with my kids, I would be on the next flight. While this is hyperbole, it does demonstrate a mindset of dedication and unstinting devotion to my children. By the way, I have been raising my children alone for more than 5 years after their mother passed away, and I appreciate that Hashem has given me the opportunity to be there for my children. I highly recommend that single parents watch “The Pursuit of Happyness, starring Will Smith, to see the type of dedication towards a child(ren) one must have.

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