One on One Time

With long days at school, four kids and one of me there is not much opportunity for each child to get alone time with me. The youngest gets the most, as he has the least school. The oldest gets some too as he goes to bed later and also comes home for lunch. But generally, in the whole hustle and bustle of life – these moments mostly get lost in mundanities.

Last night I had the chance to spend an hour with Prince HockeyFan, alone. I took him to the local pizza shop and really enjoyed just connecting with him without the distraction of brothers and phones and chores etc. They are different children one on one. There is no one for them to fight with, to compete with, they can just be themselves. I believe he enjoyed himself too. He got to finish his sentences, he had my undivided attention – and we were at the pizza shop! (We both had poutine, but don’t tell the KoD, it is SO nutritionally unsound). I let him lead the conversation – he explained (or tried to explain) the rules of baseball to me, as he had just finished playing a game with his class. Something about bases being loaded or something.

I wish I could do this more often with each of them, but practically it isn’t possible.

How do YOU make sure to spend equal time with all of your kids? Do they appreciate it?

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  1. lady lock and load says:

    And peanut butter pie is nutritionally sound? ;)

  2. Doc Hantarish says:

    I managed to be able to spend equal quality time one-on-one with my kid by only having one kid. :)

  3. batya from NJ says:

    most of the quality time i have with each of my kids individually is when i am driving them to & from various appointments or driving them to school or to their bus stops etc. in reality, i don’t usually take them out individually for pizza or the like but it is something that is worth trying to do when possible…

  4. Mon says:

    I can only contribute from the kids’ side, but I will do so anyway. Being the middle child, it is rare to have both my parents to myself, no sisters or anything.

    With my father, this was pretty easily accomplished with playing catch in the backyard (I was top dog when my big sister went off to college, and my younger sister had no interest in the sport at that point). Less easy with my mom, actually—children, cooking, managing the household with Papi at work, but she’d find time for me.

    A few years ago, the two of them took me (just me!) to Pittsburgh, our home city, for a baseball series between our two favorite teams. I LOVED my time with just them. It’s different when I don’t have to compete with my sisters (and that always happens in some form, even though they’re my best friends).

    They are coming out here to my new city this summer, Denver, without my sisters, and I am so eager for it (whether that’s for time alone with them or that fact that it will have been nearly a year since I left the East Coast is up for debate). It’s kind of a shame that now that we’re old enough to connect with our parents on a different level we’re so far away…

  5. Since Evan is an only child you’d think this wouldn’t be an issue right? Wrong! Last week he told his therapist all he wants is to spend time with me doing things together – just me and him. So last night with Anth at bowling, we went out to do some grocery shopping and then picked up dinner. The time just running through the store and chatting in the car was great. I pointed out to him that even though we didn’t do something specific like a movie…we did spend time together :) I told him we need to do it more often. Sometimes we have movie night where he and I will go upstairs to my room and watch a movie together. Or he’ll just come in and talk to me while we watch tv together. For him the distraction of the tv helps him be able to chat more openly. I have to admit I love it.

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