Frumster Files #78543

Dear Dude #1,


Let me just tell you a little secret. If you want to date me, or even have a conversation or an email exchange with me, your initial email to me has to be more than 5 words. Oh, and it would probably need to not include those 5 words that your email was comprised of. How many women do you know would respond to such an email? What was it you asked? Oh yes, “Why did you get divorced?” Is that really a way to start off on the right foot? (and, gee, late 40s and never been married, wonder why…….)


Frumster even provides “tips for a first contact” – here’s a tip – read that paragraph. You may even find someone to email you back, but it sure as heck won’t be me. See, I usually email everyone back, after all they have taken the time to write to me, but the obnoxious emails, well, I just have to ignore them. If you cannot be bothered to spend a little time on an email, and come over as rude, I won’t waste my time. ‘Nuff said.


Dear Dude #2


Emailing me with “hottie” as the subject line, and the text saying “let’s meet” – not really a sure fire way to catch my attention in a positive way. Suivant, next!!


Dear Dating Dudes


Please think at least a little bit before you send that initial email. Please indicate that you have read the lady’s profile, and find something in it interesting enough that you want to make her acquaintance. Leave the caveman bit for much much later. Women, well, at least this woman, like to be wooed gently, not aggressively. Win us over initially with words, and the rest will come easily enough if you put the right effort into it. No need to bang us over the head with a hammer.



Waiting for Prince Charming but Wondering If he Really Exists or Has Been Snapped up by Some Other Princess….

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  1. julliette says:

    hey Hadassah, speak for yourself, some of us love being called “Hottie” in the subject line, and love being hit with the hammer, ;-)

  2. hadassahsabo says:

    ok, so if a dude emailed you ‘hi hottie wanna come light my fire” – you would dig it? i think not…..

  3. julliette says:

    well, I would just take the opportunity to teach him a couple of lessons about playing with fire!!!!

  4. hadassahsabo says:

    would you light his fire, and then let him get burned? or would you pour cold water all over him? …….just wondering.

  5. julliette says:

    first give me his frumster ID # then I will let you know, how I would proceed, I gotta see what I’m dealing with before I can answer that question ;-)

  6. hadassahsabo says:

    ooh so tempting….but i cant do that. get some dudes of your own….lol

  7. ilanadavita says:

    Some people are so incredibly senseless it is frightening.

  8. Ron says:

    Happy I’m not dating. I think if someone gets to “Hottie” by looking at a picture or two and reading a profile, then they are either a mind reader/psychologist or trolling for women. In either case the I would be turned off. The first type is likely to be impossiblt smug and annoying and the latter, well yes I understand the male condition, but dude let’s talk first before you worry about waking up to breakfast together.

    Now Dudes, the lady many indeed be a Hottie, but you need to talk to her before you can make that decision, Actually you need to se her in the flesh to make that decision and before you can do that, you have to talk to her. If you make the Hottie remark based on a picture or two, well then there are magazines for you and the ostly don’y have the staple in the navel any more.

    ow talking usually means chatting online so guys you need your A game and then some. Most people cannot write. Sorry it is true. Written communication is fast becomig a lost are so I offer these buts of advice:

    1 Say hello and introduce youtself.
    2. Be honest. OK you dont have to point out you obvious flaws, but don’t misrepresent yourself
    3. Don’t start the seduction right away. Get to know the person
    4. Don’t be crude. If you wite something that is supposed to be “clever”, then reread it and consider the thrust of the srgument. If it sounds sillym crude or awkward, then consider not saying it. There will be plenty of time for being silly later. BTW I added a double entendre above. Subtle weren’t it.
    5. DOn’t rush take your time. You hopefully want a match that will last. If you want something else, then there are the magazines with the staples. They will fulfill ost of what you are looking for and there are ads in the back for more, ah tactile services. In any case if you’re looking here for that, then you are wasting everyone’s time.

    I’m sure there are other things, but I’m rushing off to work.

  9. orieyenta says:

    Oy – these sound like real winners. Hard to believe you find these guys on Frumster…they sound like they might belong on JDate. (I made the JDate mistake and oh could I tell you stories about the weirdos I met there!)

  10. Pearl says:

    Maybe these guys’ screen names should be CHUTZPAH or DUMB A– or MORON.

    I sympathize with you…

    Hopefully you’ll end up with someone whose screen name is MENSCH or MAZELTOV.

  11. ShiraSimcha says:

    Hmmm….you found some REAL winners.

  12. This is a great post because it is true and put across it such a nice way.

  13. Lion of Zion says:

    do you get to leave comments about people on these dating sites?

  14. Z! says:

    What can I tell you- my husband’s frumster name was MENTCH’04!! and I sure got one.

    We all know about the male condition of thinking with the wrong head. It always gets them into trouble, as long as the trouble isn’t with you, then ignore it. There are some real quacks out there. Truly, a mid 40′s single guy isn’t anything you want to have around your boys…
    At least you can laugh about it. and thanks always for sharing the laugh!

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