Feeding Tube Before Shidduch Dates

Hey Ms Halberstam – here’s another idea for your twisted ideas of perfecting girls for shidduchim. Bear in mind this is an article about girls getting thin for their weddings, although, I am sure this idea could gain momentum if you mentioned it in your next shidduch manifesto.

The K-E Diet: Brides-to-Be Using Feeding Tubes to Rapidly Shed Pounds

What the heck is this world coming to?

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  1. David Shire says:

    Having just married a daughter, it turns out that most brides actually gain weight before their wedding (this was according to all the “dress-women” we met) Might be different in the Haredi world – or in America – either way it’s an awful concept of almost force-dieting our daughters

  2. barbarafeldman says:

    It would break my heart if my daughter (or daughter-in-law to be) did this. Such a sad, sad commentary on our culture of skinny perfection.

  3. Mark says:

    There is no shortage of crazy people out there. Halberstam included.

  4. Michael Makovi says:

    Holy $%&#.

    • HSaboMilner says:

      wait, Michael – that’s all you have to say? Did I finally stun you into silence??

      • Michael Makovi says:

        LOL! Mark your calendar.

        But check this out (http://www.jewishpress.com/indepth/opinions/what-we-can-learn-from-chazal-about-dating/2011/07/07/):

        The Gemara (Kiddushin 2b) cites the pasuk “When a man takes a woman [in marriage]” and explains “darko shel ish l’chazer al ha-isha,” it is the way of men to pursue women [in marriage]. It is not the way of men, or shouldn’t be, to enlist a band of agents, intermediaries, and attorneys to do the work for them. By infantilizing and emasculating our males, we have complicated a process that should be simpler and made a joyous time into one of relentless anguish and hardship for many women.

        But for younger people today – say, older teens – there has to be a better way. The paradigm of “don’t smile/talk/socialize/date” until one is ready for marriage constricts the capacity of our young people to assume responsibility for their own lives. … For example, at a shul Kiddush, it should not be construed as abnormal or off-putting if a young man approaches a young woman who has caught his eye, and asks her name, and “would you like a piece of kugel?”That should be normal; at one point, that was darko shel ish. … Dating at too young an age is certainly problematic, but teenagers who learn to socialize in groups demystify the opposite sex and learn appropriate boundaries, communication skills and modes of interaction. Such contact makes males more sensitive, and helps them learn at an early age that a young woman is not a shtender, in the Steipler’s elegant phrase, or a vehicle for their own gratification, in the modern lexicon.
        {End quote}

      • Michael Makovi says:

        But I would like to see someone study to what extent all these various problems exist in different communities. In which communities is there a scarcity of men and an abundance of spinsters? In which communities are women starving themselves?

        As far as I have seen, it is mostly in more Haredi Litvish communities where these problems exist, where 24 year old men marry 18 year old women, thus causing a scarcity of men (because population growth means there are more people in the younger generation than in the older one), whereas in the Hasidic communities, there is no such age disparity and thus no imbalanced ratio of men to women. Also, in the Modern Orthodox community, as far as I know, you do not have shiddukh resumes that ask for the girl’s mother’s dress size.

        But everything I have seen is anecdotal. I would like to see someone study whether this is an exclusively Haredi Litvish problem, or whether it also affects the Modern Orthodox and/or Hasidic.

  5. Sigh. It’s never enough. And, I LOVE Michael’s comments.

  6. Ruchi says:

    Michael: You said:

    “For example, at a shul Kiddush, it should not be construed as abnormal or off-putting if a young man approaches a young woman who has caught his eye, and asks her name, and “would you like a piece of kugel?”That should be normal…”

    So that was my response. Just a lame joke!!

  7. This is so disgusting & sad & horrible – God, I don’t even know where to begin or what to say. I’m really appalled – & poor woman whose photo is included in the article looks sad & sickly. I’d much rather be fat & happy.

  8. I am literally sick. and Michael’s comments are spot-on.

  9. Sarah says:

    Across the world – and right here in New York – countless people are malnourished and starving, while other people pay $1000s to literally starve themselves for vanity, with the illusion that a happy marriage begins with an expensive “perfect” wedding. Sometimes I just think everything is wrong.

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