Emptier Nest

Emptier Nest

I feel like the last three weeks since Aryeh left on Aliyah have been INSANE. I feel as if I have been treading water, and forgetting to breathe. I want to let you know, though, that Aryeh is doing well. We’ve spoken a few times and are in touch online almost daily. He’s very happy, and getting settled in at Ulpan. I am little unsettled with this whole Syria situation, but am being told not to worry, so I am not worrying. Much. (Usually 2 am is the worrying hour).

As soon as he left it was time to get everyone else ready for school. Clothes, books etc. Luckily this year wasn’t so complicated, but we had the additional issue of sending #3 away to dorm for the first time. He was extremely excited – me less so. I firmly believe in educating each child according to his/her needs, but I have always said that I would never send a kid away to school. Never say never. He needed this. He lobbied for this, and we worked hard to find a place for him that we’d both be happy with. I spoke to him Erev Shabbat and he sounds phenomenal.

We now have #2 and #4 at home, and #2 has a long crazy schedule at yeshiva, so #4 is receiving the bulk of our attention. He isn’t complaining. But it is quiet around here. Supper for three people? (With leftovers set aside for #2 to pick at when he comes home IF he is hungry). Laundry isn’t being done as often. There is no squabbling. The fridge remains fuller for longer.

But I feel as if my heart is in several different places and that takes a lot to adjust to. I have two care packages on the go at all times. One for Aryeh – the next person who goes to Israel will shlepp stuff for him, and one for #3 with treats to remind him of home if he gets homesick. (I know he won’t, but a mom can dream, eh?)

I think I have adjusted to the idea that I have an adult child living abroad. I read his updates with thirst, and hold back from commenting “more, more, I want to hear more, and send me pictures and talk to me about how you feel….” – it’s hard to let go overnight. For #3 I text him so that when he is allowed access to his phone he can see I was thinking of him. I try not to text too many hugs and kisses because he is 15, and doesn’t really like demonstrations of love from his mom. (Although he did tell me “I love you” on the way to the Amtrak station last week – HUGE step.)

I start school next Monday and I cannot wait. I plan to throw myself into my studies, and make the most of having a schedule. Just a little holiday to get through before then. Speaking of which, I should really plan my menus….


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  1. I am going to be away from my kids for two nights/week until the end of April (other than the December break). I am very unhappy about it, but it’s the only way for me to finish school quickly. My oldest will be 16 in January, and with no grade 12 here, she is only two years away from graduation. I am already planning for my life after children– I know it will come sooner than I am prepared.

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