Budding Lawyer

I shlepped little Prince Chatterbox with me to Stop and Shop today (I know, rookie mistake….but he wanted to “help”) and reminded him of our rule when shopping with Ima. You can only ask for ONE thing that costs under $2, so it must be something you really want. (This cuts down on them asking for everything they see).

So he chose a 2 litre 99c bottle of red drink (oy, sugar and water and coloring. Shudder) and said he was ok with that. Next aisle. Chewing gum. 99 cents. He stands still and ponders.

Then asks “Ima, can I have the gum too?”

-Um, mini-dude, you chose the punch drink.

-Yeah, I know, but that’s to share with EVERYONE on Shabbat. It’s really only a quarter mine, and the brothers will be so thrilled I bought something for them. Please may I have the gum? {and he fluttered his eyelashes at this point}

-No. Well, you are being very sweet and manipulative. And you make a good point.  But well, no.

I walked away feeling like I had been so mean – a rule is a rule, though…. And turned back and said to him – “oh ok then, but don’t ask me for anything else. It’s only because you made a logical argument and I am a soft touch”.

He didn’t ask for anything the rest of the time in the store.

Would you have given in?

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  1. Rachel says:

    Of course I would have given in, but I don’t see the big deal letting him pick 2 items for $0.99 each, rather than one item for $2. Why not just give them $2 to spend as they like (you get veto power of course)?

    • HSaboMilner says:

      it isn’t about the money – it’s more about limits and having the children learn to discern what they want, weigh up the pros and cons – the extra 99c didn’t kill me, but it’s about picking ONE item as opposed to many.

  2. Rachel says:

    I guess the way I looked at it was, if the child has money to spend, they can think about how they want to spend it, all in one place on something more substantial, or on smaller treats that might be saved for a later day. I find when I give my kids money to spend, they are much more aware of how much things cost and spend more time thinking about what they want.

  3. wendy greenspan says:

    I see everything as a teachable moment – so, on the one side you did say one item – and he did make his choice – on the other side he made a logical argument and was hoping to see you bend a bit. I would have done what you did – used it as an opportunity to show him about learning to speak up and defend his opinion and then getting a reward for it. It is also nice for him to see that careful consideration of another point of view is good – hence you changing your mind. But, if he needed to learn more from you sticking to your original decision (perhaps he has been trying to get away with too much lately) then, that would have been the best approach.

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