Biting the Bullet


I am an unemployed stay at home mom and as such I figure I have plenty of time to do all the chores and shopping etc. My boys have the responsibility to keep their rooms clean, make their beds, put away their laundry, take out the trash and recycling and anything else I ask them to do. (sweep, mop, nothing major).


Yeah, I give them an easy life. This week I find it is totally backfiring on me. I have been sick for 3 days now and the laundry is piling up as is the housework. Before they left for school today I put them on notice that when they get home there is no TV, no Wii, no fun, until this house is spotless and laundry is taken care of.


What’s the problem? I am somewhat of a control freak. If I ask them to dust and sweep and mop the kitchen and wash dishes – I will need to hover to make sure it is done right, totally defeating the purpose of having them help me so I can rest and get over this sickness. I cannot even bear to think about them cleaning the toilets….How do I let go of the perfection I expect and just accept their effort without redoing everything later?


I appreciate all your suggestions…..


(Crawling back to bed to lay my head down until school’s over for the day.)


UPDATE – the boys did an awesome job and took great satisfaction in the results. I rested, directed a teensy bit, but mostly left them to do it their own way. I am so very proud of them. Prince Squiggy has asked to do the bathroom every time it needs it. I said sure.

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  1. ladylockandload says:

    First of all, you are a very good mother. And when you feel better, you can set goals in teaching the boys how to clean house and do chores, you need alot of patience because they won’t do it perfect the first time. And right now you may not be feeling very patient! Maybe you know of someone in your building who has some cleaning help that wouldn’t mind popping in to help you out for two hours.
    I am very similar to you hadassah in this way (and other ways) I can tell we will get along swimmingly! In the mean time, try to rest and ignore the house a little. Don’t put your glasses on, LOL. FEEL BETTER!

  2. Rina says:

    Okay, I have a lot to say about this because my mother made the mistake that you ARE NOT going to make.

    My mother was (and ergo, I am) a perfectionist. She hovered over everything I did, nothing was ever good enough, it wasn’t done “right” and I basically developed a terrible feeling of inadequacy and incompetence.

    Now I have a baby and sometimes she does things wrong. Like eat with a spoon and feed the floor. And although I want to do it for her, show her how it’s done, I restrain myself and do not repeat my mother’s mistake.

    Kids, *because* they are kids, make mistakes. If you prevent them, scold them, clean up for them, resent them, or show them they’re not good enough – you will mess them up.

    Let them do it, inadequately, and make them feel good about it. Then they’ll do it again and again and eventually they will be good at it, and they will feel good about themselves. There is no other way.

    STAY IN BED AND DON’T MOVE. What they do will be less than perfect. And if you hover over them, their self esteem and emotional confidence will be less than perfect.

  3. hadassahsabo says:


  4. ladylockandload says:

    Wow! Good for you. At least something good came about from your being sick. good shabbos!

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