Bald-headedness

Today, on the blog, Tesyaa wrote this comment “Not jealous here, but pointing out that Hadassah would look hot bald.”

Tesyaa – you inspired me to share a story from when the kids were very young.

We had four young sons, and money was very tight. We invested in a home haircutting system (referred to in our house as the zhummer) in order to save a bit on haircuts. However, I had never used one of these things before and had no clue what I was doing. For some reason I didn’t read the instructions. (Maybe because the baby needed me, or the 6, 7 or 8 year olds were fighting with each other).

I sat Squiggy down on the stool, covered him with a sheet and went to work. I zhummed a big streak up the back of his head. A big less than #1 streak up the back of his head. I had forgotten to put the attachment on the zhummer, you know, the one that controls the length of the hair? D’Oh!

I had shaved a streak through the middle of his head. Shaven. It was a reverse Mohawk. There was nothing to do, but to even the rest out. I left him some payot, but he looked very Chassidic. Lenny was next, and he wanted what his younger brother had – a shaven head. I hadn’t wanted Squiggy to feel like he looked different, so I did the same to Lenny. By then HockeyFan was clamoring for the same look. What could I do? It was only hair, and it grows back, right? Soon enough I had 3 of them looking like little shaven headed hoodlums. They did look adorable.

Reality set in. Their father would come home and be most displeased. (To put it mildly – but who would blame him??). I didn’t want them to see the shock in his face upon seeing them, so I took some drastic measures. I shaved my own head. In front of the boys. Told them I wanted to look just like them. Then I called him at work and said we had an oopsie with the zhummer, and in solidarity with the boys I zhummed my own head. Better to prepare him. Yes indeed. Poor man!

He came in the house, tentatively. I had tied a bandanna around my cold bald head, and he asked to see what was under it. He was not impressed. But it softened the blow, I think, because he was able to joke around with the skinheaded boys when they were called to say hi to Abba (ie that it was safe LOL).

The boys had some ribbing the following day at school – but they bore it good-naturedly and within a week or two there was some new scandal that the kids in school were focusing on, and my boys’ shaven heads were all forgotten.

Eventually my shaven headed look grew on my ex – and he was able to look at me without cringing. I have a lovely shaped head, and the lack of hair made my eyes look huge. I have been growing it long ever since. Never again will I shave it.

Almost every time I give the boys haircuts, someone remembers the first time. I have become very adept with the zhummer, and even am able to accommodate finicky clients.

Memories…..

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14 Comments

  1. Hadass Eviatar says:

    Yikes. I don’t think I would ever be able to do that!

  2. You are one heck of a mother. I really, really admire you for that.

  3. Duvii says:

    G-d created only so many perfect heads.
    .
    .
    The rest he covered with hair.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Yeah, I shaved my head on purpose after I got married because I thought it would make it easier to cover my hair (it didn’t) and the husband didn’t take it anywhere near as well as your ex did and he was only dealing with one shaved head! :)

  5. batya from NJ says:

    so you say you can accomodate finicky clients & i guess i’m rather finicky but i think i’ll pass ;)!!

    btw, that was a lovely display of solidarity with the boys but i can understand why your ex may have been less than thrilled despite your beautiful bald head :)!!!

  6. Mark says:

    That reminds me that I need to give myself and my two boys haircuts.

  7. Nora says:

    I have a girlfriend who shaved her head because it was falling out due to stress. Her husband thought it was hilarious and actually helped out. The photos are fantastic.

    That said, it’s a good thing you have a choice dome. My husband looked totally ridiculous in his early boot camp photos from Parris Island.

  8. blimi says:

    When I read that you had shaven your hair out of solidarity with your sons (you already wrote it once in a pos), I considered shaving in solidarity for my friend who had to take chemotherapy. In the end, I did not (she wears I sheitel, I don’t). But I think that the idea of shaving out of solidarity is lovely.

  9. tesyaa says:

    Great story and I’m glad I inspired it! Somehow I knew you had a beautiful bald head! And I don’t have as good a story to share, but once my son shaved off his eyebrows with my husband’s electric razor – in case anyone is wondering, shaved eyebrows do grow back.

  10. lol my husband did the same thing with his beard (shaved it down to a one because he forgot to put the guard on) when I got him a beard trimmer for his birthday :)

  11. rivkachka says:

    Fantastic! What a great story. Your boys must’ve gotten a huge kick out of it. :) I agree with Jewish Journey that you are “one heck of a mother!”

  12. Wonderful story – My mother is one of those women who can cut her own hair and it always looks wonderful. I personally believe that each day as she styles it she simply cuts off the pieces that won’t do what she wants to do, but no matter.

    I figured if she could do it, so could I and set to work one night…..it was bad…very, very, very bad. I’ve learned my lesson. Those nice ladies and gentlemen that work at the salon know what they are doing…I do not!

  13. I shaved my hair once for a fundraiser slash I lost a bet. It was liberating, embarrassing, beautiful, hideous, all at once. I’m glad I did it but would never do it again!

  14. That is a really sweet story! I love it!! Everyone learned something, you showed love and learned what you looked like bald.

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