You Know You Live and Breathe Social Media When….

You Know You Live and Breathe Social Media When….

1. Your kids know they cannot eat until you’ve Instagrammed a pic of their food.

2. You dream in 140 character bursts.

3. Facebook is the first thing you check before your eyes are even open, and the last thing you check at night.

4. You check into FourSquare in your dreams and steal the mayorship from William Daroff.

5. You plan your day around free wifi connections.

6. If someone doesn’t have a Facebook profile you don’t see how they can fit in to your life.

7. You refer to your friends as friends and followers.

8. You cannot put down your smartphone, and you have connected devices in every room just in case your smartphone dies.

9. A power failure can induce a panic attack of epic proportions.

10. Engagement no longer brings to mind a diamond ring.

11. As soon as your kid does something cute, he says, “Oh, no, you’re not gonna put that on Facebook, are you?”

12. You panic about tweeting from the wrong account and bringing about a KitchenAid type debacle.

13. You have forgotten how to use a phone, and expect family to follow all your feeds to know what’s going on your life.

14. You send instant messages to you spouse / kids / office mates when you are sitting right next to them.

15. You’re glad your husband is snoring at 5 a.m., because it gives you an excuse to check Facebook!

16. You say ‘Like’ IRL [IRL - in real life].

17. You expect people to know what IRL means.

18. You have a sweatshirt or bling with your twitter handle on it. (Guilty. Buy your own necklace here.)

19. Your kids tell people that you are paid to sit on Facebook all day.

20.  You obsessively check your Klout score daily but claim it’s worthless and useless.

21. Pinterest is your happy place.

22. When every statement and comment you make in IRL is in 140 character segments and that every person is gauged based on their social profile.

23. You think in #hashtags.

24. You’ve looked for a “Like” button on an email, a tweet, or a person

25. You call your spouse by his/her Twitter handle.

26. Before answering any question, you first think which Internet meme best fits what you are going to say (e.g. is this more of a Scumbag Steve comment or is it Grumpy Cat instead).

(With input from myself, Rachel Honeyman, Arnie Draiman, Aliza Worthington, Lori Brauner, Shoshanna Keats-Jaskoll, Mordechai Holtz, Esti Berkowitz, Erika Shapiro, Elie Rosenfeld, Ely Sheinfeld)


If you have any more to add, please do so in the comments.

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  1. William Daroff says:

    Stay away from my mayorships! :)

  2. You know what Kred is.

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