WWYD – Inappropriate Contact

You are at the local grocery store doing your regular shopping thing. You walk up one of the aisles where a shop assistant is stocking shelves. As you walk past you feel his hand brush against your behind, but when you turn around quickly it seems he is back to stocking.

If you confront him he will deny it.

If you report him to the store manager it will be he said / she said.

If you ignore it then he may goose someone else.

WWYD in this situation?

*not my story

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  1. Benji Lovitt says:

    Good Lord, this is thought to be intentional? I don’t think men are qualified to answer this question.

  2. Henny says:

    i would punch him cuz i’m a guy. unless the person who gooses me looks like angelina jolie.

  3. RubyV says:

    When I lived in NYC and men would do this on the subway, I would make a scene so that the other women on the train would be aware, and maybe the guy would think twice if he got smacked with a purse.

    What I found sad, is that when I would tell women at work my approach when they had similar incidents, they were horrified. They found my behavior undignified, unladylike, and rude. I was told that the dignified thing to do is be a “bigger” person and let it go.


    Men do this because they believe that they can get away with it. They know that women are socialized to ignore this. I would call him on it and go to the manager. I’m happy to argue about it.

    Can you tell this issue really gets my dander up?

  4. swiss says:

    Avoid him.

  5. Josie says:

    I have to agree with Ruby here, I would grab a can good and whack him with it and then when he denied the action I would say that the can good slipped out of my hand much like his hand slipped across my bum!

  6. DaveK says:

    I definately think this type of behavior should be confronted openly and often. There is no excuse for letting misogynists get away with their bad behavior.

  7. Henny says:

    well in urban / city areas all the aisles have cameras .. if they can see you slap the shit out of him, i’m sure they can see him touch your butt. Open and shut case.

  8. Mark says:

    100 years ago, the appropriate response might have been a sharp slap to his face.

    But in this case a swift kick in the cojones might have also been appropriate.

    Of course, is she ABSOLUTELY sure that it was his hand that brushed her bum? Is it at all possible that he leaned back just at the moment she passed, perhaps to get at a box in a different position, and it wasn’t his hand but rather his head or back that brushed the bum?

  9. RubyV says:

    @Mark Unfortunately, there is a rather distinct feel to a hand on your butt. :(

  10. Rachel Ann says:

    Absolutely certain it was him (no one else in the area either before or afterward) and the action was deliberate (ie, he couldn’t have backed up and backed into her or something and then been too embarrassed to say excuse me) Best approach imho? Go up to the manager.
    1)check for a security camera. If one exists let the manager know what happened and ask him to check the tape while you watch (and even better while you watch with a friend/relative present.
    2)If no security camera, speak to the manager. Let him/her know what occurred from your perspective, admit that it is probably a he said/she said kind of thing, BUT that if there are other complaints, you are adding yours to the list and that you will talk to your friends/neighbors who use the store and see if any of them have had the same sort of thing occur.

  11. Z! says:

    I like Rachel Ann’s approach. Speaking to the manager and letting him know you will no longer shop there/ruin his business will get his attention for sure. Especially if they’ve been sweeping this problem under the rug and others have come forward.

  12. Lady Lock and Load says:

    I hope nothing like that ever happens to me because my knee jerk reaction would be to kick box the pervert, and I would be the one getting in trouble!

  13. offthederech says:

    > As you walk past you feel his hand brush against your behind, but when you turn around quickly it seems he is back to stocking.

    Stalking? ;)

  14. Raizy says:

    You can’t actually hit anyone because then you could be arrested for assault.
    When this happened to me in the past, I just looked right at the guy and said in a loud voice (so everyone could hear) “Excuse me, but did you just touch my ass?” Hopefully he’ll be very embarrassed.

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