Who are YOU to censor ME?

The other day I had an interesting exchange on twitter. I had just posted about whether I should cut my hair or not, and how much the KoD loves my hair. This gentleman took exception to it. I tweeted about an email I had received telling me it was not modest for me to blog about my hair – and that I was ticked off. This guy responded. I amalgamated his tweets into the following: (spelling mistakes all his)

I don’t know I kind of felt uncomfortable reading it & don’t think I’d like it if my wife shared that about me. I think it is ok as a woman-to-woman discussion but not in public posted for all to see IMHO. obviously I’m not poskining [making a legal ruling] here. Just telling you how I feel as a guy who loves his wife’s hair. I felt like you shared an intimate part of your relationship. Afterall why do u cover your hair? I could be oversensative. I really like long hair & am sensative to my wife repeating what I say to her in private. Quest bcomes is it enough if ur hub gives permission. It may still not b approp if ur audience is uncomfortable & rav says no.

I asked the KoD if he felt that I was sharing something intimate about him, the fact that he loves my long hair. He said he could understand how this fellow might see it that way, but that it didn’t bother him at all. (and it isn’t like I asked him “permission” to blog about it. Whenever I blog about him I usually ask if it’s ok, but most of the time I know what he is comfortable with and what he isn’t. When in doubt I ask)

What bothered me most about the exchange was how offended he seemed to be, this twitter dude. If it offends you, don’t read it. Don’t presume to tell me what I can and cannot write about. And do not tell me to consult my rav before I blog. I do not consult my rav before everything I do. (and that’s another blog post in and of itself). The majority of my readers were so not offended – except for that email and this twitter dude himself.

This still doesn’t sit right with me. It isn’t like I was discussing intimate details of our married life in public, which is something so totally private that I would never share. I feel like other women could sympathize with my dilemma, and that other men could perhaps use this post to understand some things their wives go through.

What are your thoughts?

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9 Comments

  1. anon says:

    He who sticks his nose in where it does not belong doesn’t smell right. -Confucius (well, not really…but you get the point)

  2. Wyman Brent says:

    I have found the best way to keep my hair long is to avoid people with sharp objects in their hands.

  3. shorty says:

    he can be offended if he likes. he doesn’t have to read your blog (or anything online for that matter)…for that matter…why is he reading another woman’s blog to begin with? did he ask his wife/Rabbi if reading blogs is kosher? its one thing to read a woman’s authoring a news story, but blogs by definition are personal opinions.

  4. IMA2FOUR7 says:

    You’re right.
    He’s wrong.
    And if he can’t spell, he shouldn’t read others tweets!
    Didn’t our mothers teach us if we can’t say something nice or as perhaps for adults let’s us say valuable not self exposing (–his not yours) don’t say anything at all?

  5. batya from NJ says:

    the old expression, “you can please some of the ppl. some of the time but you can’t please all of the ppl. all of the time” comes to mind. everyone is entitled to their opinions & if this guy is uncomfortable with this topic that is his prerogative. he also may be best off not reading your blogs as others may offend him as well even if most of your readers are not at all offended by your writing & actually find it enjoyable & interesting to read!
    bottom line is that everyone is different & they have the right to be. we’ve discussed b/f that one of the challenges of having a blog (which may not always be good for the ego) is that sometimes ppl. will let you know their opinions which may be hurtful or insulting to you. like i said, you can’t please ALL the ppl. ALL the time, annoying though that may be!
    keep on writing & don’t let the naysayers keep you down :)!

  6. Ilana says:

    I did not get the impression he was offended. To me it seemed that in *his* relationship this information would be private, and he wanted to clue you in that perhaps KoD might feel that way too. Clearly KoD doesn’t mind your posting about your hair, and you were aware of that.

  7. I thought like you until the last tweet. Now I agree with Ilana.

  8. Frayda says:

    You said “It isn’t like I was discussing intimate details of our married life in public, which is something so totally private that I would never share. ” Could be that to him, that information is considered intimate and something totally private that he would never share.

  9. This is part of the reason I turned off comments on my blog, which by the way had like a weekly post on hair! :)

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