The Celebration of Menstruation??

The Celebration of Menstruation??

OK, so there was this post on Jewrotica (I read ‘em all) talking from a male perspective about how thrilled this guy is when his wife is menstruating, because it gives them pause to examine their marriage and relationship from a different angle.

I don’t know the fellow who wrote the piece, but I have to say this. You can communicate with your wife on every day of the month. You can discuss your relationship when niddah and when not. There are no set times to discuss difficult topics.

Personally, if there is a topic that needs discussing – specifically relationship issues – the best time, in my mind, to talk about these things is when you can touch each other, when you can be together. A criticism, no matter how constructively or lovingly it is presented, can hurt, but the sting can be taken away with a hug or a gentle touch.

I don’t know of any other man who is grateful for his wife to have her period. The hormones and the crankiness and the separation – who looks forward to that? (In religious Judaism couples separate physically from the onset of menstruation, until seven clean days post-bleeding have been counted. Click here for more info). A 12-day moratorium on sex and touching is not something to be celebrated – it’s to be dealt with appropriately. For me, much of those 12 days is spent counting down to mikvah night, and to a time that we can be a couple in every way.

I cannot wait till the whole period thing is moot for me. I wish I could just tell Mother Nature that I am done having kids, and she should take the monthly suffering elsewhere. If only it were that easy.

So – ladies – does your husband celebrate your monthly bleeding? Gents – do you look forward to your wife being unavailable to you so you can work on other aspects of your marriage?

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9 Comments

  1. Allaya says:

    I agree with you; a large part of intimacy between my husband and I goes so much further than touching. We talk. A LOT. About just about everything; how our days went, politics, news, jokes, stories of childhood, us, the baby, religion, in ADDITION to then”sexy” things. To us, it’s the complete package this way, and there’s definitely something lacking during my period. Needless to say I countdown the days till mikvah night, and my husband is chomping at the bit. Although the sexual intimacy is a large part of the “joy of mikvah night,” we cherish the first hug and kiss the most. It’s a sign of being “back to normal.”

  2. Ronnie Fein says:

    IMHO, issues that are important to a marriage should be discussed when they come up, when one or the other person feels the need to talk, discuss, argue, vent. I don’t see the value in making an appointment to do this. Seems phony and contrived.

  3. tesyaa says:

    Maybe the author is a recent, enthusiastic BT? That’s the only explanation.

    I too look forward to menopause, sort of (I’m 46 with no sign of it), but then I remember my skin will dry out, I will gain weight, my bones will weaken unless I do tons of weight-bearing exercise, and I feel less excited about it.

  4. Tziporah says:

    My husband definitely does not celebrate my period. He’s too much of a cuddle bug for that. I also think he feels bad for me when I have it, offering to bring me a hot water bottle and to order in if I’m feeling tired. :)

    I’m curious what the couple in the article would do if the wife became pregnant and hence, no monthly separation.

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