Mikvah Stories Sought

This is a message from a fellow bloggista, over at RedefiningRebbetzin.

I am working with a Modern Orthodox Rabbi from New Mexico on exposing the reality women face when observing Mikvah.  We are trying to gather more personal stories of women who have been questioned about their Jewish-ness or need to immerse, either when making an appointment or upon arrival or any other difficulties women have been presented with.  His peers have been outraged to hear the stories which have come forth so far, but there are few women who have shared their personal stories to date which makes it appear potentially less wide spread.

So I ask you to take a moment to reflect on your own experiences.  Has anyone ever made you feel uncomfortable about your mikvah observance? Do you have a friend who has ever shared that she had a difficult experience? It only takes one experience to make a story with sharing, as one negative experience could be the difference in someone’s observance of the mitzvah.  Please spread the word to those who may be able to share as well. We promise all stories will remain completely confidential and names will not go beyond my inbox.

We are on the verge of making some changes, and cannot do it alone.

Please send an email in the strictest of confidence to: Melissa at redefiningrebbetzin dot com. Alternately you can email me at inthepinkblog at gmail dot com.

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  1. Heather says:

    Personally in my 12 years of marriage I’ve had good mikvah experiences— I’ve lucked out. But I hang out on imamother and there are some fun stories there—–

    one gal’s husband was told on the phone “this is so and so from the mikvah about your wife’s appointment” —- what if it was her son or male friend who answered the phone, yikes.

    one gal was told she should cut her hair and she was VERY uncomfortable having any comments made about her appearance while she was wet, in a towel, and vulnerable. (I was told the same but it didn’t bother me— truthfully, cutting my hair WOULD help with mikvah).

    One gal was asked if she was so-and-so’s daughter because so-and-so was just in last week and they look alike— (big yikes!).

    I live in Cleveland now but when I lived in Los Angeles I would sit in the waiting room with all types of women— some with long nails and pants, hair uncovered— everyone was given the same experience and there didn’t seem to be any judgement. Here in Cleveland I almost never need to wait, which is nice.

  2. I’ve been going to the mikvah for 23 years, and while I do not love the experience, there was only one time I was made to feel uncomfortable. It was a pretty bad experience, but I just switched to another mikvah and never went back there.

  3. kisarita says:

    do you want any single women stories (some of those frum “chained” husbands insist on it….)

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