Looking for first hand stories

I have written a few times about the sad plight of the Agunah, the chained woman. I know there is another side to this coin, that of a chained man. The ex-husband whose ex-wife refuses to accept a Get. You don’t hear many of their stories as it is mistakenly assumed that they are few and far between.

If you are a man, who is chained and wish to share you story so that others can learn important lessons about both sides of the Get please email me at InThePinkBlog at gmail dot com. All names will be held in the strictest of confidence.

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  1. I see you read the comments to your other blog post. Awesome, and thank you. I’ve contacted my agun friend and told him about your request.

  2. fille says:

    The two sides are not symetrical.

    If a “chained man” wants to have a girlfriend, nothing happens (as long as she is not married).

  3. kisarita says:

    Exactly, fille… me and my friends have dated quite a few of those “chained” men ourselves.
    (In defense of myself, I didn’t find out until I was already heavily involved.)

  4. kisarita says:

    And almost without fail, they claim to being chained by their ex wives, who 1. is crazy 2. insists on some “unreasonable” condition. (like relinquishing all monetary and custodial decisions in her favor by the secular court.)

  5. Michael says:

    For the record, secular courts will ration access to the father and have no regard to kashrus, shabbos, yom tov, chinuch etc. they are irrelevant to their decision. The secular court will also in first instance provide materially for mother on basis she has the kids, so the father may not get anything from a marriage that he may have brought money into from pre-marrraige. Both the above happens and is against halacha so you will not get an orthodox beth din agreeing with these decisions, and if contrary to Jewish law, are irrelevant and have no bearing on the Jewish Courts. Therefore its not unreasonable to raise them in a Beth Din, and if the women want the benefit of Jewish Law then they should comply with the rules. otherwise they have their civil divorce and they can get on with their lives with the overwhelming majority of Jews who are not so religious to bother about a religious divorce.

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