Lack of Motivation
I got up this morning, put the coffee on, took the chicken and cholent meat and bones out of the freezer to defrost. That’s all I have done. I have absolutely no motivation to cook for Shabbat. None whatsoever. I just want to crawl back into my bed and get another few hours of sleep, few days really, until it’s time to wake up and drive to see the KoD again.
Shabbat without the KoD is like having brownies without the chocolate. Just so plain… I love spending the time with the kids. I do. And Friday night we always end up having a great time, I go to bed early and sleep 12 hours…but there is something missing. Lighting my candles without KoD here Friday night always brings me to tears. And just knowing that we have at least a couple more months of this is like a leaden weight on my heart today.
My get up and go seems to have got up and went….without me. I think I will just make the soup and cholent and buy in the rest. Spend my time today cleaning and getting rid of this aggression– I guess we are all entitled to our off days.
Sorry to be such a downer. Hopefully the Sabbath Queen will bring me a better frame of mind. See that’s the problem with always being so positive – bad moods knock you sideways.
Off to wallow…..
ETA (12.12 pm) I forced myself to get busy in the kitchen and have baked and cooked and feel tons better. I just had a hard time getting focussed! Thank you for the support. Oh, gotta go, cinnamon and chocolate babkas have to come out of the oven.