Keep Your iPhone Out of My Uterus.

I was sent this link by a blog reader, probably because he knew it would get my dander up. Thanks Pal! Oh and he didn’t want a credit…curious….. is a free service created with a single goal in mind: to keep you aware of when your wife, girlfriend, mother, sister, daughter, or any other women in your life are closing in on “that time of the month” – when things can get intense for what may seem to be no reason at all.

Gee thanks! And it also lists flower shops in the vicinity? Oh how freaking nice. It’s enough that I have to keep track of my own cycle. I really don’t need anyone else knowing my personal business. I don’t need the KoD getting a reminder in his inbox saying “according to our calculations your wife has 5 days till her period, so she is likely to be majorly crotchety this week, and nothing you do will be close to being right. So just follow this link to buy her flowers and keep the heck out of her way”. I don’t need my kids being warned not to ask me for anything that week, and to be extra gentle, and to treat me with kid gloves. If I want to be cranky and moody, it’s no one’s business WHY. If I lose my temper, or break down into tears, I don’t need all the males in my life exchanging knowing glances with the unspoken comment of “she’s PMSing. Let’s leave her be”. Dammit, I cannot even PMS in private any more.

Humph. Your thoughts?

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  1. As if Facebook, Twitter and blogging is not enough, now we have to social network…our periods? What the…?

  2. shorty says:

    yep. nothing says love like a text “sweety, are you on the rag?”

  3. hennybottle says:

    i work in a nursing home with about 80% female employees. THIS IS THE GREATEST INVENTION EVER.

  4. Rafi says:

    they’re saying it anyway, just right now its a guess. if you get that device or application it will just make it a definite and not a guess.

  5. sheldan says:

    Aliza put it best: “What the…?”

    Seriously, who thinks of this?! I hope it’s a joke…

    Just when you think they’ve come up with everything, you read this…I’m totally speechless…

  6. Z! says:

    Have you heard of “”?

  7. KoD says:

    I have been instructed to repeat the following statement that I just made to QoH when she asked me why I wouldn’t use this app. I, THANKFULLY, said, “I don’t need a freakin’ app to tell me how to handle my wife.”

  8. anon says:

    once the cell is in the uterus, might as well set it to vibrate and make the most of the situation.. :-)

  9. Esti says:

    Maybe an application like 4square could be added to the mix of social media monthly monitors. Updates like, I’m at 5 days ’til menstruation, who else is also there”? What are you craving? This person really wanted to see the responses, and here they are. My husband knows me so well and there’s nothing like getting a bowl of chocolate chips and peanut butter for a snack, he knows that is what I want during those days, not flowers.

  10. Krystal Chormpa says:

    It’s a bird… It’s a plane… It’s a bitch meter.

  11. Z! says:

    This also goes to show just how far we have come in women’s lib… At least now girls aren’t ashamed of the “curse”…

  12. Chanief says:

    I want this app. I sometimes feel a little “off”* and can’t remember why, this would be helpful to me.

    *off = sensitive, bitchy, hungry, etc

  13. Just remember, you’re not the one on the receiving end!!!! As my brother once taught me, “All of life’s problems are due to a woman’s period.”

    (This aphorism is risque enough that I don’t ordinarily repeat it except to other men, but hey, you broached the topic, so you cannot blame me!)

    But wouldn’t observance of niddah help the man realize when the PMS period is, anyway? A frum man doesn’t need this meter!!

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