It’s a Sad Day

Today I had to inform my boys that their paternal grandmother (my ex-husband’s mother) had passed away, in Montreal. It broke my heart to see my boys suffering. There is no way to ease the pain of news like that, especially if it is unexpected.

I brought them home from school one by one, so that we could have some time, one on one, to work through the news, and for hugs and kisses to be readily available as the news was sinking in, so that they didn’t have to share me while dealing with this awful news.

As a mother, you want to keep all the pain away from your children, you want to suffer through the pain for them if you can, but in this situation there wasn’t anything I could do, other than just offer them my time and my love and my arms. It felt as if I was inflicting pain on them by telling them this news, but what choice did I have?

The boys are handling the news as well as could be expected. They have all spoken to their Abba and are slowly starting to share memories of their Bubby.

As for me, well, there are a lot of different thoughts and emotions percolating through my head. My former mother-in-law was a special lady, one who loved me from the moment she met me. She adored her grandchildren to distraction, and always made sure I knew how much she appreciated the way I was raising them, even post-divorce.

I am sad for my kids, and I am even sadder for their father. Losing a parent is such a tough thing to go through.

May her memory be a blessing.

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4 Comments

  1. batya from NJ says:

    Baruch Dayan Emes.

    I knew your boys’ paternal grandmother years ago from the “alta heim” in Montreal. While I didn’t know her very well, she did seem like a sweet woman who had lived a difficult life due to various challenges. I’m sorry for your boys’ & their pain. Hamakom Yinacheim!

  2. eli says:

    You are such a thoughtful and amazing mother! my sympathies to you all! Baruch dayan emet.

  3. My deepest sympathies to your husband, you, your children and your extended family at this difficult time. May the memories of joyous times ease the pain you feel.

    Baruch dayan emet.

  4. Diana says:

    I am so sorry for your loss.

    Baruch dayan emet.

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