How to hang a shirt on a hanger

Tips from a younger person:

First of all you need to determine if the shirt is in need of being washed. If it has been on the floor for only three days, it’s still wearable. Do the sniff test just to make sure. When the mother-person asks you to pick up your stuff off the floor, this is when you need to determine its wearability. If you do this earlier you run the risk of wearing something that smells like fresh laundry –a big no-no if you want to be cool. Once you have ascertained that it doesn’t smell too bad, you need to find an empty hanger – they generally make their habitat in that closet place in your room, that has a door in front of it. They like to cluster together and shiver because they have no clothes on. Poor hangers.

You then stand there in your room, shirt in one hand, scratching your head with the other, examining the hanger for instructions on how it works. You give up in total frustration. You then decide that you don’t want to anger the mother-person by leaving the shirt on the floor any longer, and stuffing it in the closet doesn’t seem to work either.

You put the hanger back in the closet and stuff the shirt in the laundry hamper – because you know that it will show up sooner or later in the closet – on a hanger – so you can knock it off onto the floor while rummaging for something else, and repeat the cycle.

That mother-person, she falls for it every single time. It works if you do it with pants too. Heck, if you cannot be bothered to put away your clean laundry, dump it into the laundry hamper! It won’t get put away in the closet, BUT it won’t inhabit the floor and then the mother-person will be happy.

We must keep the laundry elves in business. Who is with me??!!

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  1. lady lock and load says:

    HAH! Brilliant!

  2. My kids are totally with you.

    As a tech writer, I give you kudos for clarity. As a mother, I shower you with giggles.

  3. terrific! brilliant indeed.

  4. Shira says:

    My 7 year old daughter changes 40 times a day and never puts anything back away. Then I tell her to clean her room and magically the hamper gets full. She always says “it’s all dirty!” Then i look through the said dirty clothing and realize that she did not wear her bathing suit, a tutu, or 3 pairs of leggings….

  5. BB says:

    Thanks for explaining my 16 year old nephew (I have only daughters) to me; he comes to visits a lot and need to be reminded what bath soap and deodorant are used for.

  6. Rebecca D says:

    Tell me, do you have a spy cam in my house? This is such a funny and familiar scene that seems to be gentically inbred to the entire community called ‘KID’. Perhaps even we can call it a character trait! Enphasis on CHARACTER!!

  7. sheldan says:

    But, Rebecca, if this is genetically inbred, what happens when the kid grows up? All of us were once kids! How then do we suddenly become like the “mother-person” and kick this character trait?

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