Did you give birth Naturally or did you….CHEAT?

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34 Comments

  1. Mark says:

    Lots of idiots out there. What’s with people anyway?

    I mean, it starts with a ‘C’, but the word ain’t “cheat”! :-)

  2. shorty says:

    Well said H

    I am going through an overwhelming number of emotions listening to what that person said.

    We have been trying for over a year to get pregnant. What I wouldn’t give to have the oppotunity to mak a choice between oh naturel or begging for pain killers. What I wouldn’t do to avoid the monthly disappointment to “cheat” while giving birth.

    What about women who have IVF? Are they cheaters?

    That comment is pure ignorance. and a large dose of stupidity.

  3. Marla says:

    I guess that makes me a 3 time cheater :)
    Don’t let the morons get to you – she’s likely more ignorant than evil. If she is lucky enough to be blessed with children, she’ll know how misguided and silly she had been before…

  4. Jess says:

    I applaud your restraint. I would have thrown in a few “choice” words.

  5. Blog Fan says:

    As a male, the closest I have come to feeling the intense pain of childbirth is passing a kidney stone. I would not call this person evil but definitely ignorant. If she is orthodox then maybe before she gets married, she might get clued in by someone on this subject. At the outset she might want to give birth naturally but then again does she realize that she will be cheating if there is even a “snip and suture” done since this would be an intervention of the natural process or would she rather have in genitalia naturally enlarged.

    Here’s an idea, ask this individual her shoe size and then have her try on a shoe that is 3 sizes too small and see how it feels.

    I have no patience for ignorance.

    Don’t they give some kind of anatomy classes in scholl (would really like to know)

  6. lil_lupie01 says:

    THANK YOU!

    In my honest opinion, unless you have children you have no right to weigh in on the whole “natural” childbirth conversation. We, the women who are true mothers whether by adoption, marriage or pregnancy, should be proud of our children. The manner in which they came into this world does not matter because we all give birth to them whether it was when we brought them into the world or simply into our hearts we gave them our lives. We gave them what was most important in this world, we gave them our undying love. Truth is that I don’t think ANYONE had the birthing experience that they wanted but we all got the children we wanted. Personally I had one who didn’t want to get out, one that could wait (not even for the doctor) and one that (for her own safety) we had evict early and even though it didn’t go as planned I wouldn’t have changed a single thing. The fact that there are still narrow-minded, ignorant people out there who try and devalue the way in which we chose to give birth to our children infuriates me and as I can see you too.

    Again, thank you for you rant. I’m glad to see that there are people who aren’t afraid to voice their anger about this. And, from watching this, I’ve learned that I shouldn’t get you mad. ;)

    • HSaboMilner says:

      lil lupie – oh this was toned down. i can get really mad. then you had better watch out.

      but i do agree. until you are a mother yourself you indeed have no right to weigh in on the conversation, at least not if you are going to be judgmental about it!

  7. Chanief says:

    I had two inductions and two epidurals. My kids got here healthy and happy, and I am too. That’s what counts! Cheater? Who gives a crap?!

    This girl is in for some rude awakenings, poor thing.

  8. I honestly do not think I could have survived the birth of my daughter without an epidural– it was either that or literally kill my husband with my bare hands for knocking me up

  9. orieyenta says:

    I guess I REALLY cheated since my little one is adopted :-)

  10. Erin says:

    Being a mom who desperately wanted a “natural” birth, but ended up with an emergency C-section, I was afraid to even watch this…afraid of what would come up for me.
    As per usual, Hadassah, you make me feel “normal”. I’m so blessed to have met you in the land of the interwebs. I’ve got some tears to deal with here…but I had to say thank you, once again.

  11. Josie says:

    ok haven’t listened completely but “your” hairs look amazing!

  12. Cam says:

    Well, I’m sitting here in tears… I still can’t believe it bugs me after all this time.

    Being a three time cheater (3 C-sections), I have a lot to say about that post and what this woman said to you so I’ll try to keep it brief.

    A) What a selfish B*EEEP. Childbirth is not about the mother, it’s not about embracing ones woman-hood. It’s about bringing a child into the world healthy and whole.

    B) It’s not a competition. No one is handing out medals at the end of it for doing it “naturally”. The only thing you get out of it, if you are damn lucky, is a happy, healthy baby.

    C) If something goes wrong during delivery and you need a episiotomy (sp) or Havens forefend! a C-section to save the life of your child, are you going to stop your doctor and tell them “No”?

    D) If this woman is so wrapped up in perfection, what is she going to do with a child who doesn’t quite measure up?

    Yeah, I planned for natural childbirth for two of my three children, but you know what, crap happens and things didn’t work out. And yes, I would have loved to have had a natural childbirth, but it’s a very human experience that I’m going to have to forgo. Does this bother me? A bit, but all I have to do is look at my two beautiful daughters and one rough and tumble son to remind myself of what’s really important – their lives and and the joy their presence in my life brings the world.

    This woman is setting herself up for a colossal fall, I hope it’s her who pays the consequences for her beliefs, and not her children.

  13. Right because it’s not like either way, it HURTS LIKE HELL.

    • lil_lupie01 says:

      Amen to that! I actually had less pain with the one of mine that wouldn’t wait for the Anesthesiologist than with the two that I had pain killers for. But I think that was only because he was so darn determined to come out that there was very little effort on my part to get him out. Sometimes I think he might have shot across the room if there hadn’t been a nurse there to catch him. LOL

  14. Miriam says:

    I’m a huge cheater. I had ART, loads of drugs and a c-section.

    Baruch Hashem HE thought it was oay and blessed me with three perfect little girls. (Who are dumping water out in the living room. Gotta run!)

  15. Aubrey says:

    It really is sad, having such narrow-mindedness early in life. You are right, she will learn… the hard way. My three little joys wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t cheated. I don’t know what it’s like to go into labor naturally, still not totally sure what contractions feel like. All three labors were induced.

  16. Haven’t had the pleasure but honestly, I would love for this girl to embrace some of my chronic pain. “Embrace the pain!” Oh man, oh man.

    • lil_lupie01 says:

      lol.. you too? I’ll pass her some of mine you pass her some of yours and that should be enough for her to try and “embrace”. Speaking of which, time to take something to dull my pain

  17. scazon says:

    God almighty. Really? *Really?*

  18. tikunolam says:

    Is there something in the water where you live? Seems you come across the most unbelievable morons.

    I wanted to not “cheat.” My sisters-in-law had babies sans pain killers. There was pressure from the mother-in-law.

    I was given Pitocen to help my body move along. When the pain came I started to cry. It hurt so much! My (male) OBGYN gave me a mini lecture about how he can’t even imagine how much pain I was in. When I felt validated, I asked for medication. Never regretted it. Child birth with cheating was hard enough.

    And I too am thankful to have my wonderful children. I am thankful that I had the chance to experience the pain.

    Love the webpost BTW.

  19. Rebecca says:

    While everything you said was right on, I have a few questions: 1) u said you were communicating on the computer, was it a skype? 2) How do u know that the “person” you were communicating with was a “woman”? 3) y would you waste good typing fingers on someone who is so stupid? 4) U said u were not going to be on the computer with “her” anymore. Well, I would suggest, although I bet she follows this blog, that she listens to your response. When u first began, I thought that you might have been face to face, but later on you said it was on the computer. Just my thoughts.

  20. Mike S says:

    We had 4. First and last my wife had an epidural; middle two were natural. First probably would have been natural but the woman in the next room started screaming her head off and she asked for the epidural. By the time the fool anesthesiology resident got the needle in the right place (on the 4th or 5th try consuming about 45 minutes) she was ready to push. At least judging by her reactions, having that ninny poking needles in her back hurt at least as much as the contractions. Third was the kind of birth I imagine every woman would like. We dropped the older two off at a neighbor’s at 7:30 to be driven to preschool, went to the hospital and had the baby before 10. Interestingly, she was the largest, coming in at 12% of my wife’s prepregnancy weight.

    Unless you gave birth to a few extra aces as well as a child you were not cheating.

    On the other hand, snotty young ninnies can be told off. Try getting grilled about child abuse by the ER doctors when you finally are driven to the emergency room after your oldest has had diarrhea from 8 months to a year old and the pediatrician keeps telling you everything will be OK. They cannot easily be dismissed, and ranting at them is likely to lead to losing your kid and risking a jail sentence.

  21. The Law says:

    idiots.

    my wife was in labor for 40 hours with our first. after 7 hours of pushing, our babies heart rate began to steadily drop with each contraction.

    the Dr. advised that we could either go C-section of vacuum extraction. we chose the safer c-section. from the time we gave the green light to the time our daugther was born was a total of 17 minutes, thats right, 13 minutes to wheel her to an OR, prep her for the procedure, get the anesthesiologist, do the procedure, and rescue my daughter from her distress….

    do you get a medal for the “natural” way?!? get to wear a gold star? dont think so.

    i think women need to get over the battle stories of labor and delivery, it will make it less of a competition of one-upsmanship….

  22. Dov Kramer says:

    I’m not sure why so many are letting the idiotic words of anybody get to them.

    I’m pretty sure she’ll “cheat” when it comes her turn; until then, it’s not worth paying any mind to.

    • Lady Lock and Load says:

      I agree with you Dov. I have been waiting to see what the Birth Whisperer has to say about this. She must be off to a delivery :)

  23. That woman makes me sick. I gave birth to a tub of chumus in my early 20s. Without drugs, it simply would have been a nightmare. Today? I have four little chickpeas AND I LOVE EACH ONE OF THEM FOR WHO THEY ARE!

    Benji
    Hadassah Sabo Milner Fan Club, Assistant Treasurer

  24. HaSafran says:

    You should have asked her where she learned “the rules”?

    And, someday, with G-d’s help, she too will be able to “cheat”, because if there’s one thing I’ve learned from watching my three children being born, it’s that, at that moment, the lady giving birth is the one who gets to write the rules.

  25. Rishona says:

    Wow – I hope she sees this video! (Maybe, just maybe, she’ll get a clue).

  26. Pearl says:

    I didn’t cheat, and thank G-d I had very good, and in a couple cases, extremely quick births. But I did scream like a banshee, or a jungle woman, and my parents were out in the hallway hearing me give birth to my oldest child, who happened to also be my biggest — 9 1/2 lbs, bli ayin hara. They probably could’ve used a sedative!

  27. Z! says:

    I hope, one day, to be in the situation where I would have the option to even consider CHEATING.

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