An Oldie But a Goodie

got this via email a while back.

TIPSY FRUITCAKE RECIPE

You will need the following; a cup of water, a cup of sugar, flour, 4 large brown
eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon
juice, nuts, and a bottle of Scotch whiskey.
Sample the whiskey and check the quality.

Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is the highest quality,
pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of
butter in a large fluffy bowl.. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Beat
two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fit. Mix on the
turner. If the fired druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a
drewscriver.

Sample the whiskey and check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or
something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain
your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar of something. Whatever you find.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don’t forget to beat off the
turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whiskey again and go to
bed.

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