Accepting Help

Accepting Help

I found this ecard online the other day. And I laughed because it was so apt. I posted it to Facebook and several of my friends also commented that it was so totally them.

 

I want to be the type of person that can ask for help, and truly want the help that is requested. I occasionally ask for help – but then I need to oversee how it’s being done, just to ensure that it is done the right way. Many times I will take over and do it myself, just so that it gets done my way.

In other words, I am a control freak. I hate that about myself. I hate that when I need to ask for help, I don’t, and that when I actually do ask for help, there are conditions involved on my end.

For the longest time I tried to teach the boys how to make their beds. Being a Brit, we use duvet covers. The kids always complained that getting a duvet into the cover was like wrestling with a crazy animal. “Ima, show me again how to do it”. And I would show them time and time and time again. They would do it, make a pigs’ ear out of it, so Ima would take over.

Eventually (I can be slow) I realized they were playing me. They realized they wanted to sleep in comfortable beds and they learned how to put on a duvet cover.

That only happened when I let go of the need for it to be done MY way.

I need to adopt that in all other areas of my life. I need to a) ask for help and b) accept the help as it is given.

Anyone have any advice how to do the aforementioned a) and b) without feeling as if I am giving up all control?

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2 Comments

  1. S.A. says:

    I am not a control freak, but I never liked asking for help. In the past three years I have had a big life change. I had to completely let go of my pride and ask for help. It isn’t easy, particularly when those who “help” throw it back at me. Maybe have a nice glass of wine when others do for you. Yes, the job won’t be done to your standard but you might have a nice buzz going on and not care. Jk.

  2. Asking for help has probably been one of the hardest things for me to learn and one of the hardest things for me to do and I only got there because of chronic illness. Because my illness isn’t always visible, there are people who see me asking for help and will call me–to my face no less–lazy and it hurts like hell because it took sooooo long for me to ask for help for what seems like the most minute things but can set me back for days.

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