My Views on Gay Marriage – A Stream of Consciousness
I was brought up that being heterosexual is the way to go, and one gets married before one has heterosexual sex with one’s spouse of the opposite sex. That’s it, that’s all.
There was no fire and brimstone telling me that gay sex is wrong because the Torah says so, or that being gay is the end of the world. Homosexuality wasn’t on our radar. At all.
These days kids cannot grow up without becoming aware of gay rights, gay marriage and everything associated with it. In my boys’ yeshivot it seems as if they have been issued all the fire and brimstone that was (happily) lacking in my upbringing.
I am often asked where I stand.
I’ve always known I was straight, and I would assume that made my life way easier than my gay friends’ lives. I very much appreciate my right to marry whomever I choose. I made a choice at 21, and another at 35.
How would I have felt if I was told that society did not allow me to marry the person of my choosing? I would have been devastated, angry and would have fought for the right to marry.
I have seen many heterosexual married couples make a mockery of the institution of marriage. They had the legal right to marry, but did not take it seriously. Should they have been allowed to marry, knowing they didn’t respect the institution?
Should anyone be interested in what goes on behind other people’s bedroom doors? I am only interested in what happens in my own bedroom – I couldn’t care one whit what others get up to in the privacy of their own spaces.
Am I out there pushing to legalize gay marriage in all 50 states? No. Does that mean that I am against it? No – it just means that I put my energies into my home and my family, and that, yes, this issue does not directly affect me. If that sounds apologist, know that I am not pushing any legislation for any issue because that really isn’t who I am.
How would I react if one of my boys was to tell me he was gay? I am asked this often. I honestly don’t know. I’d like to think that it wouldn’t change the love that I have for him, I’d like to think that I would accept him and his lifestyle – but it’s impossible to know. A mother’s love is supposed to be unconditional – I pray mine is, no matter in what context it is tested.
I love all my friends – them being straight, gay or bi makes no difference to me. It’s their friendship that I appreciate – and such friendship needs no labels.
I am so much in the live and let live mode. I know what is right for me, and we are raising our kids the way we believe is correct. It is not our right to dictate to anyone else the best way to raise their kids, to celebrate their own loves and relationships. We need to accept people for who they are, not WHAT they are. We need to stop slapping labels on everyone.