Is There No Privacy Anymore?
I love my husband to distraction. I won’t pretend that we never fight or say things to each other in anger. We are a normal couple. However, you will never see me air our fights and disagreements online. I will never post those little pictures / memes that denigrate husbands or marriages. You know, the ones that say when you get married you adopt a fully grown toddler etc. I have respect for him and for our union.
I am also not that wife that will whine about her husband to her friends – “Do you know, he took out the garbage and wanted applause?” – No. So not right. Marriage, well MY marriage at least, is sacred. It isn’t up for discussion.
I love my husband and I respect the position that he has in my life. I appreciate all that he does for me, and then some. I fail to understand those people who plaster their private life all over the interwebz for the world to see. You know when they are fighting with their partner, when and how they made up, and even how good the make-up session was (TMI all over the place these days). I mean, some people even live-blog their arguments, and catalog their spouse’s failings on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis. No one forced anyone into marriage. If you choose to be married / in a committed relationship, respect your partner. Don’t denigrate him / her – online or off.
I am also not that wife that has to plaster “I LOVE YOU”s over her husband’s Facebook wall so that the whole world knows it. Again – that’s private. Those three words lose meaning when uttered repeatedly, banally, in the presence of the online folk. If you really truly love each other – that’s something to be shared privately, intimately. (Yes, I said it here twice, but I am proving a point.)
I am sure that if I wrote about our fights and disagreements, the honest warts-and-all posts – my readers would love it, it would make us more real. But where do you draw the line? Is nothing sacred anymore? Do we really have to poll our friends on whether the spouse’s words or actions were heinous or harmless? Whatever happened to actually talking things through with a life partner without hundreds of people watching the discussion online?
In this day and age we’re all sharing way too much, and I am probably guilty of it too, to some extent. I try very hard though, when it comes to my marriage to keep a lid on it. This also extends, by the way, to my previous marriage. You all know I am divorced, and I have NEVER ever blogged negatively about my ex. We were married, obviously there were reasons for our divorce (that are private) and we have kids together. As such he is also deserving of privacy and respect.
Is it difficult? Sure. Sometimes you want someone else to look at your situation as an outsider with no investment, to see if maybe they perceive the issue differently and can give you a fresh perspective. But outsiders are not living your life, they are not married to you and do not understand you in the way that a spouse can.
If you need people’s input on an issue in your marriage – go to marriage counseling, seek a therapist who can help you work through your problems. Don’t use the online world to run your life.
Where do you draw the line? In this day and age do you think it’s ok to share everything? Just because everyone else is doing it, does that make it right? Please weigh in with your thoughts.