A Rant – About My Neck
Regular readers of my blog are aware that I had neck surgery a year ago.
Everything was hunky dory and magical from the moment I woke up in the (I was going to say delivery room!!) recovery room. Until six months later when the pain started returning in dribs and drabs.
Today I am in constant pain. Basically, I have to suck it up and deal with it. Doc says my spinal cord was compromised and I may never be 100% normal again. (Yeah. I know. HSM – normal?!) Thankfully my arm and leg that were extremely affected before the surgery are not affected now. The pain and discomfort is solely in my neck, and I have full range of motion in all of my limbs. I don’t take it for granted. At all.
I am ticked off that I have to wear this stupid (bad word I know. Sue me) neck brace / cervical collar (it has nothing to do with my cervix, surely??) all the time. When I don’t wear it I hurt more. Wearing it seems to take the pressure off the pain points. I don’t want to live my life on painkillers, and the neck brace kind of takes the edge off that. Of course, if I didn’t have to drive nor sit in front of a computer screen there would be a lot less pain… but I make my living at the computer screen, and living where I do, driving is just absolutely part of every day life. Add the trips to Lake George and back twice every third weekend so the boys can visit with their Dad – well, that adds to it too.
I bought a black cervical collar so that I could mix and match – the skin-coloured one is just so obvious and in your face. But the black one isn’t as tight and isn’t as comfortable and doesn’t give me as much support. So I rarely wear the black one.
I have people stare at me in the street and in the store, and many people ask what happened. I am just so sick of the whole damn thing that I don’t even want to answer. Although, there are some great suggestions on THIS THREAD of things I could say. I just resent looking different. Or even, being treated differently. I dropped something at the grocery store and the clerk bent down to get it for me – I am quite capable of doing it myself. I was gracious and said thanks, but I was growling internally.
Yes I am grumpy. BUT I HATE THIS NECK BRACE. It could be worse, I know, but if I cannot complain and whine and moan and groan on my own blog, where can I do it? Stupid pain in the neck!
/Selfish Whiney Rant